Sometimes when our Hearts are closed and we feel numb, it’s so hard to feel Love.  It’s hard to see the Light of the world.  We don’t feel worthy of Love.  Wonder and awe vanish from our existence.

Or so it seems.

This has been my Heart over the past month or so.  Numb.  Unworthy.

This one particular day I was feeling quite dark and heavy within.

Couldn’t feel much.  Felt uninspired.  My thoughts were on the negative side.

I knew I had to change it up.

So I chose to practice Gratitude. 

Standing in my kitchen I repeated a few times … “I’m grateful for our home.  I’m grateful for my husband.  I’m grateful for my boys.  I’m grateful for my Body”.

It gave my mind a love filled space to focus on.  I would repeat these affirmations over the coming days.

I felt a shift inside.  My mind was not so negative.  There was a softening in my Heart that allowed for more Light to flow.  I could feel that beautiful sense of Love that happens when our Hearts open. 

I was reminded that the Wonder and Awe of Life is always within me, sometimes is just gets covered over.

It’s easy to feel gratitude when we feel happy, or when we receive something lovely that makes our Heart over flow with Joy.

But when you’re in that dark place, it’s not so easy.  It can feel like you’re faking it; I know I felt like I was faking it the other day. 

But it’s not always going feel easy – is it?  We just have to keep making choices that will bring us back to Love; choices that will bring us back to an open courageous Heart that is filled with compassion for ourselves.

Past experience has taught me if I had kept going down that hardened path, things would have got darker.  So in that moment of Self-Awareness and inspiration, I chose to take the pathway of Light.

I chose to focus on Gratitude.  And for that choice, I am Grateful.

Jane

Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash