2 weeks ago my 8 year old son moved up to a new Karate class. New time. New people. And a new teacher (although his favourite teacher is still assisting the class).

He was nervous all day at school. We spoke about it before we left. “It will be OK Aiden. Being nervous is normal”. “I know mum.”

When we arrived he didn’t want to go in. Sensei came and invited him in and made every effort to help him feel comfortable. They started warming up. Then I saw the tears streaming down his face as he ran laps of the Dojo. His eyes pleading with me – “Please mum, let me come out.”

He came and sat with me for a while. A few teachers came and talked with him, trying to encourage him back into class. He was so certain he didn’t want to go back in. The anxiety had fully kicked in.

I explained to him that his nerves had got so big, his body was releasing them out of his eyes. I reminded him that he was safe and that he won’t get hurt. He knew all this. It’s just the anxiety had taken over and it was difficult for him to move through it.

But he did. He returned to the Dojo and got into his training. He struggled a bit, but gradually he got back into the groove and was having a great time.

I was so proud of him. Moving out of one’s comfort zone can be confronting and scary. And this little boy did it!

So last week when I received an invitation to a “Thank you for Volunteering” morning tea at his school, I said “I don’t think I’ll go. I get too anxious at things like that”. And my wise little Aiden said “It’s only nerves mum”.

And he was so right. I knew then that I would go. I needed to go, not just for my own healing, but to show my boy that he inspired me.  I was not going to let anxiety rule my life.

And today, I got dressed and went off to the morning tea. I walked into the room, smiled, headed for the table of food and grabbed a piece of watermelon cut out like a Christmas tree. A few of us marveled at the idea – it was really easy to eat with a little trunk of watermelon skin to hold onto.

There was one mum standing close to me on her own. So I struck up a conversation and that was it. We chatted with each other, and with others that came and joined the conversation. I had a really nice time. Not too many nerves. A tiny bit of anxiety. And I survived. I didn’t die. I wasn’t hurt. I didn’t stumble or fall. I didn’t blush or run out of the room in embarrassment.  I wasn’t alone standing in the corner looking uncomfortable.  I was there getting to know others and listening to their stories.

Interestingly, I can teach a meditation class or workshop without feeling overly anxious. But when it comes to social situations, I don’t have a mask to put on. It’s just me, standing there.

And the thing is, I love to socialise and meet new people.  But sometimes my anxiety takes over and I choose to avoid certain situations.  (although sometimes the anxiety is absolutely correct and I do need to avoid the situation for my own sanity)

Today I was anxious about going to a tea party. But I did it anyway.  I am one courageous woman.

To some, this might seem trivial, but to those who struggle with anxiety, know exactly what I’m talking about.

So if you are struggling with anxiety today, remember this … acknowledge the anxiety.  Embrace you and the anxiety with Love and Compassion.  Ask yourself “what do you need to feel safe and nourished right now?” Breathe.  Know that you can move through it.  And on the other side of the anxiety is a watermelon shaped Christmas tree with a conversation that makes your heart smile and your whole body feel happy.

Jane

PS  And please remember, ask for help if you need it.  Being open about your anxiety is so empowering and gives your body a voice.  Learning how to cope with it makes a world of difference.  It certainly has for me.

Photo by Frida Bredesen on Unsplash