Anchored to the Past

I had a black [energetic] anchor wedged in my pelvis.

My hips had been aching on and off for months.  I kept tuning into the pain but my Body wasn’t sharing too much – it didn’t feel ready to show me.

I continued to support this part of my Body by stretching, gentle exercise and massage.  It didn’t shift the tightness, but I know it was helping.  Movement is essential for my Body.

The pain started to increase deeper into my hip joints.  When a throbbing pain started waking me up during the night, I knew it was time to sit in Self-Love practice.

On this particular morning, I spent time massaging, journaling and energetically scanning my Body with my hands to help move energy blocks from the cells.

Trusting my intuition, I went into stillness with my breath.  Dropping my awareness into my pelvis, I sat breathing through this space.  Allowing my Body to soften and show me what was needed to release the energy blocks.

And there, within the stillness, a big black energetic anchor spanning across my Pelvis showed up.

The pointy ends sticking into my hip joints.  The chain flowing out my tailbone.

Tuning into this energy, I felt it anchored into old controlling masculine energy.  Domination.  Patriarchy.  Oppression.  Do what you’re told.

I could feel this energy blocking me from my life force; from living in wholeness.

Using the power of my intention and breath, I released the anchor and the past from my Body.

Over the days that followed, the pain subsided.  Not only did the pain subside, but my experience of pleasure changed.  For me, this has been the biggest miracle.

Throughout the years of healing sexual trauma, my Body has really struggled with all forms of pleasure.

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with vaginismus, so at times sex was quite painful.  I knew the reason for this was because of the trauma, so I stayed the course of healing, no matter how difficult it was to face.

After releasing this black anchor, my body seemed to transform overnight.

My Body is experiencing pleasure in ways I’ve never experienced.  It feels like my Body is starting to understand that this is the way it’s meant to be.  It feels like another piece of my healing puzzle has fallen into place.  

I’m always amazed by what takes place when we converse with our Bodies.

By leaning in and asking “What is this?”, we open up the communication pathways to the deep healing wisdom of our Body.

But, before we lean in, it’s so important we have the right support systems in place, so when we are faced with the difficult, we feel safe, held and supported.

Please note:
I wrote the words above back in July.  It’s now September.  2 weeks ago, my hips started aching again.  This time they are being really clear about what it is.  Another layer of trauma is coming to the surface.

My hips are calling for acupuncture.  So, I have booked myself in and am getting the help I need to process old suppressed memories.  It’s not easy to face, but I know that the inner and outer support I’ve cultivated over my healing journey will support this process.

I share these words because I want those who have experienced trauma to know, that healing is possible.  That with the right support, you can reclaim your Body and the pleasures of Life.

If you’re struggling with any form of trauma or mental illness, please reach out for help – you don’t have to walk this journey alone.

When we listen deeply, our Body will guide us to the support we need.  Whether that be a GP, Acupuncture, Psychologist, Personal Trainer or simply reaching out to a trusted friend and asking to be heard.  

Head to Health is a great website with loads of resources and links to mental health service providers in Australia.

Please know, I’m here if you have any questions or need someone to hear you.

With Love.

Jane